This story begins in the home of an obnoxious, snot-nosed, brat kid. This child was recently diagnosed with Extremely Annoying Obnoxiousity Disorder, or, EAOD. You will first meet this child in it's kitchen, enjoying half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (the other half is on it's face). It's screaming uncontrollably because in two short hours, it had to go to sleep in a bed with monsters underneath it. The child's gigantic, loving mother waddled into the kitchen and pressed the messy child's face to her muffin-top belly, "Shhh! Shhh!" she screamed. It gave a start and immediately stopped its crying. "Stop with the crying, child! What is your matter?" she asked.
"There's monsters living under my bed!" the child sniffled, "I don't want to sleep in there!"
"Too bad!" the woman yelled, "Monsters are not real, and even if they were, I would tell you to deal with it!"
The child looked suprised. The woman looked at the clock, "It is almost time for your sleep, drink your milk and brush your teeth!" she screeched. It did what she said.
Now, it is time for it to go to sleep. The child made it's way to it's room, slowly, due to fear of the dark and of the monsters. It crawled into it's pink, bubble-gum, fairy-princess bed and carefully laid her head on the pillow.
This is where the story gets interesting: suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a large, checkered unicorn rushed from under the bed and firmly placed its twirly uni-horn into the child's belly button and swiftly yanked the child under the bed, through a trap door and down a steep flight of stairs (all while the child is asleep, mind you). The unicorn placed the child on the ground in front of it and motioned the other creatures to come out of their hiding places. They all stood around and stared at the motionless child.
Blink, blink. The child woke up, saw the strange creatures staring at it and began to scream so beyond radiculously that it sent shock waves through out Under The Bed, breaking everything made of both glass and cubic zerconium. All the creatures winced in pain while the child screamed erratically. Finally, one of the fairies flew on to its stomach, crawled onto its face and slapped it. The child stopped it's screaming and sat up, sending the fairy flying the opposite direction.
The checkered unicorn scowled at the fairy and introduced himself "I am Frenchie", he announced. The child giggled and covered her face. "What!? What's so funny?" Frenchie asked, flabbergasted
"Frenchie! It's a funny name!" the child screamed with giggles. Frenchie scowled at it intensly, the child immediately stopped giggling and put on a slightly more serious face. Frenchie relaxed his face.
"We will show you the wonders of Under the Bed!" Frenchie smiled. The child looked confused.
"The wonders of where?"
"Under the Bed! That's where you are right now!" Frenchie said, gesturing broadly to the dark and colorful place around him. The child thoroughly examined where she was: trees with deep red bark, magenta and deep purple leaves, cobalt blue grass, black sky. It was scary. The child squinted.
"Is it all like this?" The child asked.
"No! No, no, no... No." The creatures responded three or four at time in unison. There were unicorns, lepreachauns, centaurs, fairies and other mystical creatures that the child couldn't identify. One of the lepreachauns jumped over to the child and helped it stand up. The child smiled at the lepreachaun, the lepreachaun bowed and backed away. Frenchie walked over to the child and lowered himself.
"Sit on my back, and we'll show you the other places of Under the Bed!" The child climbed onto his back and made itself comfortable. Frenchie stood, "Come now, we'll work together to show this child everything great about Under the Bed!" Frenchie and the other creatures lead the child through the forest and stopped by everything interesting and worth explaining.
It became late and the already dark sky became even darker, the navy sun vanished and pinkish stars appeared. "Sleep". Frenchie said, and as if by magic the child dropped to it's knees, and onto it's face in deep sleep. Frenchie sighed, layed down, and fell asleep along with the other mystical creatures.
In the morning, they all woke up. Frenchie explained to the child that time Under the Bed goes by quicker, so right now in the real world, it's still late at night. They all continued on their way through Under the Bed to show the child the last wonder. They walked through the dense forest, and after about twenty minutes, they came through a clearing. Suddenly, it was very bright because of a gigantic, smiling sunshine. The clouds all had silver lining, the grass was vibrant and green, not a tree or bush in sight, it was a perfectly landscaped field. The child was both amazed and releaved by the new sight, she looked up and directly above her was the largest, most beautiful and glorious rainbow she, or anyone else, had ever seen.
Frenchie smiled, "The last wonder, is the pot of gold at the end of this rainbow". A lepreachaun snapped his fingers, and instantly was transported out of sight. Frenchie and the child talked while they walked, about what they had already seen that day. They walked all the way to the end of the rainbow where the lepreachaun and the pot of gold was.
Steam was drifting up from the pot of gold, "Why is there steam coming from the pot?" The child asked.
Frenchie and the leaprechaun exchanged worried glances, "Uh. The gold, it's steaming because it's
so magnificent!" The lepreachaun explained. The child nodded.
"Do you want some of the gold?" Frenchie inquired.
"Can I?" The child asked, wide eyed.
"Of course! Go ahead and climb in there and grab some!" The child climbed up and leaned into the pot, before it could get back down, the leaprechaun shoved her into the pot. It wasn't gold at all, it was boiling water! They cooked the child, chopped it into bite sized pieces and had a magnificent feast.
The point is, there are indeed, monsters under your bed, and if you sleep, they will bring you down to Under the Bed and you will have the same as the child I have told you about in this story.
* This was originally written in May for an assignment for my English class.
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